Deciding on a story line/plot/idea.

After watching the opening sequence of film 'Sliding Doors', we have decided to take on the idea of a parallel storyline (two sequences running together simultaneously). However, in our own film sequence, we intend to use the idea of dream world vs. reality. We got this idea from the film '500 Days of Summer', which uses a split screen to show reality against the character's expectations.














We have come up with the following scenario:
A girl and boy character, doing the same thing, separately (visual parallel, showing subtle yet distinctive differences)

They wake up
get ready
leave the house (split screen at this point)
walk somewhere
bump into each other
get talking
everything seems perfect

all of a sudden, FREEZE FRAME
narrative voice over saying something along the lines of 'now if only everything could happen like this...' (suggesting the previous sequence was a dream)
we then CUT back to the girl character back in bed that morning, alarm goes off alarmingly loud (snap back to reality)
waking up
continuing routine
this time everything seems to go wrong
BUT THEN!
again, she runs into the boy character
and it seems like dream is about to become reality, but will it work out...?
title appears on screen
END SEQUENCE